Baked goods
Oh the headlines — no, not those headlines, don’t be silly
Baked goods in the news!
And why you should consult with a professional.
Your AZ Swagman does follow the regular news . . .
But that’s boring and divisive most days. If I bore half of you with my writing, and drive away half of you . . . wait a minute, let me do the math [f(x,y,z) = z6+x4y2+x2y4-3x2y2z2] . . . oh yeah, that would leave me writing for myself! A little like talking to myself (been doing that for years, I’ve even had some wonderful conversations!), fun, but not effective!
So rather than talk about the main headlines of today, let’s focus on a trend your swagman is noticing: the abuse of baked goods! This trend started when I heard the story about a Michigan cheerleader who brought pot brownies to school to get votes for homecoming queen (https://fox17online.com/2018/10/02/cheerleader-allegedly-brings-pot-brownies-to-school-to-win-homecoming-votes/). Amusing, definitely, except for those who broke the rules about drugs on school grounds!
Another story came to light from that great bastion of journalism (not kidding, it really helps!): News of the Weird. The tone may have changed a bit from when the founder Chuck Shepherd stepped down, but it’s still a wonderful, quick read. Check out the lead story from September 21st: https://www.uexpress.com/news-of-the-weird/2018/9/21. Don’t worry, I’ll wait . . . crazy, right? In this instance the mind-altering ingest-ables weren’t in the cookies, but directly affected the baking of the cookies!!
Side note here: because no food writing is complete without a perusal of my favorite food show, the Splendid Table, I did a search to see if they’d covered any fun stories about mixing mind altering substances with food. Sure enough: https://www.splendidtable.org/story/cooking-with-cannabis-cooks-science-explores-a-complicated-culinary-trend. To be clear, none of the states serviced by AZOR have legalized cannabis, so this is absolutely NOT an endorsement.
Anyway, let’s bring this back to your AZ Swagman’s thoughts: If you’re going to experiment with alcohol or mind-altering substances, please, oh please do not allow it to ruin innocent baked goods. Remember, the season for giving baked goods is fast approaching. Let your AZ Swagman help by supplying quality, non-hallucinatory, branded goodies! From individual dipped Oreo® on a stick, to giant, towering collections, we’ve got you covered.
If you insist on doing your own baking, maybe consider a branded box to deliver your goodies? Hmmmmm?
Finally, there are some of you who will take the high road and decide not to contribute to the weight traditionally gained over the final two months of the year. How about a cookie shaped stress toy?
BTW, for those of you wondering, that math formula was an example of Hilbert's seventeenth problem (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilbert%27s_seventeenth_problem). I have no idea what it means, I just wanted something fun to use as an illustration!
What goodies make your mouth water? swag.azorinc.com or swagman@azorinc.com